This is such a complex subject. It depends as much on the person as it does the cat. And cats do have their own personalities. Take Bijou for example, she is almost 5 years old, I have had her for about 4 years, you would think that she would be a lovable lap cat by now. That she would be very used to my comings and goings and just non plussed about me walking past her to open the curtains or pick up the dishes from the table. But you would be wrong. Bijou, in the first 6 months of her life must have been abused, or tormented, because she is still just as afraid of me walking past her as the day she came to live in my house. Yet we have bonded, on her term and her terms only. It was only about 1 1/2 to 2 years ago that she started to give me any kind of attention. One night while watching TV she jumped on the back of the couch. I tried to pet her, and she jumped away. Then the next night she did it again, this time I didn't try to pet her. After that she would jump just a little closer to me. Within a week she was giving me head butts, with just the slightest hint of a purr. Now she when she jumps up I am able to pet her, I can even reach down to pet her when she is in her basket. but only one hand is aloud on her at any time, two hands means immediate removal, and she runs and hides.
One thing that Bijou loves, as much as her privacy is food. This is one of the main ways to get a cat to bond with you. Any cat that receives a regular mealtime, will most certainly bond with you in some way. You may not be able to pick the cat up (like Bijou) but each day around the same time as you feed the cat, it will be there. It will hop around excited to be feed, or rub itself on your legs, almost tripping you. But soon you will find this cat doing the same thing even when your not going to feed you. This cat has bonded to you.
A job well done!!!!
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